Its Mental Health Week.

I am so grateful that we dedicate a week to ending the stigma but I am however troubled by the fact it is 2019 & we have to dedicate a week to bringing awareness to Mental Health. That troubles me.

Anxiety is a very common illness. It present itself differently in everyone’s since we are all unique & not everyone the same. Anxiety, is where an individual can feel very uneasy and feel very worried and sometimes they can not control that worry because they are scared about something or what the outcome could be.

I previously wrote a post on World Mental Health Day where I talked about mental health, where you can find help (if you need it) & briefly (very briefly) mentioned that I struggle with anxiety. This time i’m going to dive a little deeper & share a little more (but not too much, keeping it short & sweet). I personally do not talk about my struggle with anxiety. My family & friends know I have anxiety but even they don’t know too much about it. I’m in no way sympathy seeking with this post; this post is my way of bringing attention to mental health & hopefully bring more awareness to mental health. I’m also sitting here, writing this, feeling anxious as ever, so don’t expect too much today!

Without going into too much detail, I struggle with anxiety.
I have good days & I have bad days. I have days where I am crippled over with fear & shaking like crazy because I would rather do anything else but what I was supposed to be doing. I have days where I am literally sick to my stomach with fear. I have days where I hide away from everyone, I ignore messages, I literally ignore everyone because I don’t want to be social or have to be around people. I have cancelled so many plans because I just didn’t feel like being around people. I have days where I am so irritable I can’t have a conversation without snapping because I am so on edge. I have days where I literally dread having certain plans.

These days, it is less scary when ‘bad days’ visit. I used to think something was wrong with me. I never used to tell people I was having a ‘bad day’ I used to just make up excuses. I have slowly been figuring out what helps trigger my anxiety, I have started to figure out what emotions are situated with it. I have been learning to live with it. I have so many fears thanks to my anxiety, I let these fears hold me back & I’m just hoping that one day I will have the courage to overcome those fears & push my anxious thoughts aside. But for right now I jot down what I would like to do, that way I have that list for when I decide I can confidently pursue it.

I have learned what helps me cope. I know that running helps me clear my mind in the same way meditation does for most. Attending a yoga class weekly keeps me present & grounded, missing that weekly yoga class does throw me off my game. Writing has helped me organize my thoughts, but i’m still trying to get used to it. I can go on.

Anxiety can affect us all differently, I am not saying what helps me will help you, or my symptoms/experiences will be similar to yours, if you have anxiety

There is still the stigma around anxiety & mental health. We all deal with things differently, & no one should feel like they have to cover up their struggles, everyone should be able to feel like they are able to talk to others without worrying about being judged.

Thanks for reading!
I’m here if anyone needs a friend to talk to!

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